Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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ahhh!!!!!! kay, this is my new blog, created for me to destress and seriously pour out all that i've kept in my heart.
school was very bad for me today. have been sad since like yesterday? yupps, cause i seriously feel very helpless seeing my friends being engulfed in problems and not being able to do anything about it. my jie has been facing quite a few probs recently, and all i'm able to do is sit on the sidelines and watch her suffer. know how helpless i felt? its like more than once i tried cheering her up or simply just make her day slightly better, but nothing seems to work. i tried buying milk for her when she couldn't sleep properly. it didn't work out cause the milk prob gone bad by the time i'm able to pass it to her. so i disposed the milk in the end. she wouldn't tell me her probs, so i figured the most i could do is to at least accompany her through it? yupps, went school early today, hoping to wait for her at the bus stop so that i could accompany her up the slope, expectedly, it failed, she didn't tell me when she boarded the bus even when i told her to do so. when i reached the bus stop, she was already in school :( i seriously feel very hopeless now. very sad, and its not just by seeing her and me not being able to help her that made be feel down, but there's many more factors contributing to it. everytime i see my friends sad, i feel sad too, i have no idea why, but i can't help it, seeing them go through their ups and downs in life makes me suffer so much. u ppl prob wouldn't know this huh? the way i feel everytime i walk on the streets..... its torturing, seeing my friends suffer right in front of me, seeing things get worse everytime i try to help, not being able to do anything..... sometimes i really wonder, really wished that i was blind and deaf, blind so that i wouldn't see ppl suffer, deaf so that i would not be able to hear their cries, i guess that would be better? that way, i may be able to lead life as a happier person..... that way, i wouldn't make things worst for ppl that i tried to help..... maybe....
thanks abel, for noticing that i was down....
alfred thanked jesus at2:01 AM
