does hardwork always pay off? i have no idea, from what i see, it doesn't. its like u either become some mindless freak of nature that immense yourself in doing what u do and nothing else. I can't tolerate doing me poly project 24/7, I can't tolerate keeping my mouth shut for 24/7.

I'm missing you badly now, why are u giving me a cold shoulder? if there's anything about me that turns u off, you could have told me, why the cold treatment? its hard for me not to think of you, each time i hesitate contacting you, cause i have no idea if i am looking forward to your reply/ reaction. its either u give me some super short reply or u dun reply at all. did my sms irritate u? i have no idea, i really don't. I dun contact you often, but yet u give me the feeling that you find me an eyesore and hope that i would nvr contact u. dunno what i should do now. persist or what? my efforts to be in vain. you have no idea what i did for u, but then again, i doubt it would make any difference. You'll prob just ignore me again, i dunno if i should respect ur decision by gradually disappearing from your life.....

i feel like some idiot, doing something for no reason